i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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