She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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