FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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