can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
