Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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