he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
