I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
