did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
