i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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