super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
