I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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