I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize