Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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