Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
