Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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