uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
