I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
