Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
