I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You don't make any sense
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