why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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