So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
