you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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