Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My vagina is officially offended.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
