he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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