he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
