Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
