Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
