My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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