yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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