i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
