I want to make a zoo with you.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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