I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
