well I can't set my house on fire every night
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize