yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
