Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
