need another drink. this is the easiest way
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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