i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
