lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
