We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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