Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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