I smell stomach acid.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize