I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
