I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Success! We fucked roommates!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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