Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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