All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
