two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize