Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
