anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
