We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
