Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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