wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
