i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
