life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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