My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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