i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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