who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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