Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
