great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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