this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
